I almost took it down.

When I published my “40 Things I Had to Unlearn” post, I felt clear about it. I had processed those lessons. I knew they were true. I hit publish.

And then my dad read it.

He told me it was too personal. That I might be putting a target on my back. That sharing this much could be used against me.

And suddenly, I started second-guessing.

• Was I too open?
• Did I make myself vulnerable to criticism?
• Did I just give people a reason to judge me?

For a moment, I wanted to pull it down. Not because I regretted it. But because I was afraid.

But here’s what I’ve realized:

Hiding is a cost. Being seen is a risk. You have to pick one.

For years, I leaned toward hiding.

• Hiding struggles because I didn’t want to focus on what was wrong. I believed that energy spent dwelling on problems was energy wasted.
• Hiding when I was stuck because I didn’t want to be seen as lazy or incapable. I thought asking for help might make people see me as someone who wasn’t doing the work.
• Hiding uncertainty because I wanted to project the person I was becoming, not the one still figuring things out. I thought if I focused too much on what was missing, I might reinforce it instead of moving past it.
  

It felt safe. But at what cost?

👉 The cost of connection. You can’t form deep relationships if you’re always managing perceptions.
👉 The cost of clarity. If you hide from others, you start hiding from yourself.
👉 The cost of boldness. Playing small makes you forget you were capable of more.

On the flip side, being seen is risky.

• People can take your words out of context.
• People can weaponize your vulnerabilities.
• People can judge you.

But the upside? It’s the only way to attract the right people.

You can’t connect with the people who truly resonate with you if you never let them see you.

And the truth is—most people aren’t thinking about you that much.

When I re-read the comments on my post, nobody was judging me.

Most people weren’t even thinking about me.

They were thinking about themselves.

They saw something in my post that connected with their own experiences.

And that’s the lesson:

Vulnerability isn’t about you. It’s about what it unlocks in others.

So if you’ve ever:

• Held back from sharing something because it felt too real
• Wanted to speak up but worried it could be used against you
• Second-guessed your own voice because of what others might think

Here’s what I’ll say:

It’s okay to be thoughtful about what you share. But don’t let fear be the editor of your life.

Because in the end, hiding costs more than it protects.